On being human
When I started making this website over an year ago, I decided I wanted to have a short tagline that expresses who I am and who I want to present myself as.
Practically on the spot, I ended up with the following tagline:
FOSS enthusiast, developer, writer, human
I haven't been able to bring myself to change that tagline ever since.
"FOSS enthusiast" is easy to explain: it's there to signify the importance of free/open-source software holds for me—to a large extent, I see it as a calling in life. "Developer" is what I do professionally; "writer" is my hobby, until someone starts paying me for it.
But what about "human"? Isn't it obvious that I'm a human? It's not like it's unexpected for a personal website to be driven by a human, nor is being human something that I need to assert in a tagline for it to be true!
Yet, I find there is something quite profound in being human. And it is the one part of my tagline I'd be most reluctant to remove.
To be human is to be mortal
As the popular syllogism goes: Socrates is a man; all men are mortal; therefore Socrates is mortal. And, Socrates did indeed die.
In a similar vein of thought, by stating I'm human, I also state that I'm mortal. Bound to time. Not someone who would be around forever in this world.
As such, I want the systems I set up, the organizations I'm part of, the ideas I put forward, to continue working and existing even once I'm no longer around. Granted, I'm still it my mid-20s, so, unless I plan to be hit by a bus, it's probably too early for me to think of such things. Yet, in considering that I am limited in time, I am better able to value the time I spend—frivolously or seriously.
If I write a blog post, it's not just because "I was bored", it's because I decided to spend time to think, type, and share my thoughts with others. If I watch a silly video, it's because I thought there was something profound even in that—and wanted to gain the perspective of a person who's watched even that. If I chat with someone I don't know, it's because I opted to develop my relationship with them further, or perhaps found value to just make them smile. And so on, for activities deemed more "productive" than the ones listed; if I sit down to do work, it's not just because "that's how life is" and "people gotta eat too", but because I considered that doing that work more valuable than not doing it.
I'm privileged enough to not worry in the short-term, about having my basic needs met; as such, whatever I do with my time is by choice, and I don't get to trivialize that choice, for whatever course of action I choose, it is one I'll spend my limited supply of time on.
To be human is to be limited
Humans are limited—not just in time, but also in extent to which we can think, speak, and act. By saying I'm human, I also want to say that I do not have an infinite capability to fix the world: and that's okay.
My ability to think is limited. While I know a lot of things, especially in the programming niche, I can't even guess how many things there are that I do not know. There are whole spheres of human knowledge that I don't even realize exist! And even if we look at something as "straightforward" and mechanical as a mathematical proof, thinking through one takes time, and, as already established, I have a limited amount of time I can spend thinking.
My ability to speak or write is limited. Even if I have an idea and know what I want to say, it never comes out quite the same as it was in my mind. And usually, I don't even know what the right thing to say is in the first place! Ideas race in my mind to be the one I speak out, in my limited slice of time, before it's again another person's turn to say what they want to say. And we both hope the conversation might lead somewhere.
And of course, my ability to act is limited. I can't reshape the whole world to fit my wishes—only parts of that world, and even them, my ability to reshape my environment is limited by my weak and imprecise hands. Though, there's grace in that too, for it limits the damage I might cause while I'm still learning how to make things better.
But in all of that, it's alright: I can do something, and hope it's enough—to leave the world better. And that's profound.
To be human is to be erroneous
"To err is human", as the popular line goes. The latter half, "to forgive, divine", is not the point here.
I'm human. I make mistakes. If I'm lucky, I get to own up to them and apologize. If I'm even luckier, I get to analyze those mistakes and create systems that help avoid them in the future.
I might be an "expert" in my area—but I'm an expert who makes silly, completely avertible mistakes, and when I do, I'm at the mercy of others to spot those mistakes and not let them develop into bigger problems as time goes on. And it's exactly when I act as an "expert" that I make the most impactful mistakes.
As such, I'd rather stay human. It's not as glamorous as being a well-promoted expert in a cushy position that lets me direct how everyone else spends their own limited time, no objections allowed. But it's honest: I'm imperfect and make mistakes, and in setting myself in systems and positions that allow me to make mistakes, I ensure that I'm not setting myself up for the inevitable failure that would come with the next mistake.
In a sense, part of acknowledging I'm human is staying humble.
To be human is to be social
Being human all by myself would be a long, lonely existence, which would leave nothing but a few footprints to be washed and scattered by the wind and waves. It would be near pointless.
Thankfully, "we live in a society". And I too, exist in society. As such, in stating I'm human, I acknowledge that I too am a human—like you, the reader of this blog. In our little society of two, you've just read about a thousand words—a picture—of what I think "human" is. And I too, could stand to read a thousand words. I'm neither the first nor last person to discuss of what it means to be human. I'm just a human. And you can write a thousand words to me too, and from there we would get some communication going, and from there, we'd get better understanding of each other and, hopefully, of the world we exist in.
So please—if you be a human being!—don't hesitate to drop a note, and let us be more than just two isolated, individual human beings. (: For example, ask me why I write smileys as (: and not as :). It's a fascinating subject, I assure you! 😉
In addition, in my language, "to be human" / "да бъдеш човек", also has the meaning of being an empathic, kind, and overall decent human being.
My grandpa really liked saying that the hardest thing is to become human, using that same meaning. And while I can't boast to have become a decent human, I can hope I'll be—at least somewhat—kind, and empathic, and "human", as I talk with others.
To be human is to be created
There only one more thing I want the word "human" to express in my tagline—that fact that I've been made by God.
I'm a Christian. I do not trust in some "mythical" entity ruling over the whole world—I trust in a very real, personal, God. Personal, in the sense that God Himself is a person. Real, the the sense that He lives.
However, chances are you are not a Christian. And, as much as I'd love to lay out all the reasons and details of my faith, this article is not the place for this—so I'll be brief, and only list out the implications of my faith as concerns the meaning of being human. Meanwhile, you can consider the implications of your own faith on what it means to be human.
Being created a human, I acknowledge that the time and resources I have are not my own—they are God's, and I'm just a steward of a small portion of His creation (Matthew 25:14). Being created a human, I acknowledge that any good I do, speak, or think is not of myself—it's a gift from God, and I can do nothing but be thankful and joyful for it (Ephesians 2:10, James 1:17). Being created a human, I acknowledge that I'm also fallen, imperfect, and always coming short—and it's only because of God's mercy that I'm even allowed to be part of His wondrous creation (Romans 5:8, 9:15). Being created a human, I acknowledge that I was created not just to pursue my own interest or "fun", but to also serve and love others, and to be part of society around me (Luke 10:27).
And in all of that, I find that being "human" and created by God gives all the more meaning to every other way in which I may interpret the word "human".
In conclusion
I am human. And like every other human, I'm forced to eat and sleep, to deal with disappointment, and slowly fade into non-existence.
But being human has it's perks. For one, I'm alive! And get to live in a world that I can change! And, I get to talk and communicate with other humans!
And for all of that, I'm thankful to be human.
And I'm glad I can make it part of my tagline.
This is my 15th post of #100DaysToOffload. One of a few posts that just flowed the moment I started writing them out. 😊